A Thousand Sons
by Tormentas
Summary: Louise doesn't summon Saito during the familiar ritual, but instead gets one of the sorcerers of the Thousand Sons traitor legion. General chaos and madness ensue. Review PLEASE!
1. Chapter 1

I do not own warhammer or familiar of zero

I know almost nothing about the familiar of zero series, so this fic may be a bit AU. Any information about the series would be very helpful and appreciated.

Review Please!

* * *

"Bring forth, my familiar!" Louise cried, her voice cracking slightly as she yelled. The response was a massive explosion that sent her, professor Colbert, and most of the class flying backwards.

"Louise you idiot!"

"You can't even summon..a..familiar." The jeering voices trailed away into silence as a massive shadow loomed out of the dust created by the explosion. Two glowing blue eyes glittered angrily in the smoke, ringed by a flickering blue black aura.

"Who summons Severus of the Thousand Sons?" the shape growled, it's voice harsh and quiet, as if it had never been used.

The figure stepped out of the fog. Clad entirely in blue and yellow armor, the figure surveyed the class from behind an ornate helmet whose face plate was formed in the shape of a leering skull. A long leathery cloak trailed behind the figure, made of what appeared to be skins that had been stitched together. In one massive hand, the figure clutched a large tome, in the other, a sword whose blade glowed as purple lightning raced across it.

"I, Louise Valliere summoned you." Louise murmured, her eyes wide with fear.

"What is it you ask of this son of Magnus?" the figure growled again, kneeling so it could stare Louise in the eye. It had to lean down even from a kneeling position to look into her face.

"You...you are my familiar." Louise replied, her voice growing in strength.

"Wait...what?" Severus's voice changed, now sounding a little worried. Leaning forwards quickly, Louise gave the leering skull a quick peck on the mouth, sealing the summoning.

"NO!" The roar was deafening. The gigantic figure stumbled backwards staring in horror at it's arms as glowing runes appeared on it's armored gauntlets.

"YOU LITTLE SHIT!" the figure screamed at Louise, raising it's sword above it's head. Louise cowered, waiting for the blow she was sure was about to fall.

"Enough!" A loud bang, and the figure rocked on it's feet, whirling around to face professor Colbert, sword still raised.

"YOU DARE TO ATTACK ONE OF THE SONS OF MAGNUS MORTAL? I SHALL FEED ON YOUR SOUL FOR THE NEXT THOUSAND YEARS!"

"Familiar!" Louise bellowed in a vain attempt to assert control.

Suddenly the sword fell limply to the figure's side. Standing as still as if frozen into granite, the figure's voice rasped out again, now much calmer, but still carrying deep undertones of malice.

"Yes...master?"

Louise smiled brightly and then pointed her wand at her familiar's helmet.

"DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!" she screamed, making everyone cringe as an explosion caught the familiar in the face.

As the second smoke cloud cleared, there were no jeers. Rather, there was a large amount of screaming. Two orbs of blue light floated in the space where the helmet had once been, trails of smoke rising in thick black clouds rose from the orbs, and a glittering set of pointed fangs grinned down at the class, but there was no face, no flesh, nothing. Just the orbs and the evil smile.

"Ouch master." the smile sniggered, savoring the fear it's visage had spawned.

"Come familiar." Louise said imperiously, blatantly not looking at said familiar. "I'm hungry."

"So am I master." the familiar chuckled. "I am so very hungry."

* * *

As Louise and her new familiar walked through the door of the dining hall, the bustling hall fell silent, staring past Louise at something behind her.

Turning, Louise saw her familiar in the process of swinging a handsome boy around Louise's age around it's head with one hand, the massive fingers wrapping around both of the boy's ankels.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Louise screamed at her familiar.

"He bumped into me."

"SO YOU SWING HIM AROUND BY THE ANKLES?"

"Yes master."

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? PUT HIM DOWN!"

"Which should I do first master?" the familiar asked, still swinging the howling boy around his head.

"BOTH! AARGH! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING!" Louise screamed, now completely apoplectic.

"Yes master."

The boy fell to the ground with a loud thud, having been dropped unceremoniously from a considerable ten feet. Turning back to Louise, Severus bowed and snickered.

"Nothing is wrong with me master. Well, that would depend on what you would view as _wrong_."


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own warhammer or familiar of zero

I know almost nothing about the familiar of zero series, so this fic may be a bit AU. Any information about the series would be very helpful and appreciated.

Any who insist on busting my ass about the inaccuracies of my fic after reading the text above will be ignored

Review Please!

* * *

Severus had to crouch so he could look into the room. From inside, Louise was howling about him being too big to fit. Eventually, the irate girl sent her familiar to the small courtyard outside the dormitories and told him to wait for her there. Muttering to himself, the Thousand Son reluctantly agreed. Now, sitting in the dark warmth of a summers evening, the familiar set about examining the runes that had burned themselves onto is armor. Sitting in the darkness, Severus leafed through his tome, matching runes to the symbols on his arms. Small flashes of multi colored light gave Severus a terrifying silhouette as the sorcerer set about unmaking the runes of binding. One by one, the Thousand Son removed each of the runes, burning away the flimsy magic of his would be master's bonding magic.

This was truly depressing. Severus silently bemoaned the lack of talent in the girl whose magic had summoned him. The strength of the runes was so slight that a loyalist could have removed them. Pausing for a moment to chuckle quietly at the ineptitude of his former brothers then returned to removing the last few runes. As another rune faded from existence, Severus felt a spike of pain shoot through him, searing his soul.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Severus looked around slowly, but the massive astartes was alone.

"Up here moron."

Severus looked up. A small black kitten was looking down at the Thousand Son from the branch of a tree, the look giving Severus no doubts that the cat clearly thought him every kind of dumb possible.

"No offense oh fuzzy one..." Severus began, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I AM NOT FUZZY!" The voice changed. Now it was deep, guttural. Daemonic. Severus knew that voice.

"Hesk. What are you doing here? I thought you were dead."

"That was a thousand frickin years ago asshole. Daemons come back remember?"

"Oh yeah. Thats kinda annoying you know, why can't you buggers just stay dead?"

"What are you a grey knight?" At this the kitten gave a small shiver. "Ugh! Just saying it makes me all..."

"Fuzzy?"

"SHUT UP!"

The small cat lept nimbly onto the top of Severus's helmet, and onto his lap. There, the cat tried to kneed the astartes plate into something more comfortable, Severus could hear his armor creaking in protest as the daemonic cat pounded the adamantium, all the while snapping angrily at the sorcerer.

"Fuzzy he says! Me, fuzzy! Me, the daemon who destroyed Seprus Secundus!"

"Sorta messed up Seprus Prime though." Severus observed.

"Shut up! That was because you ditched me!"

"You got run over before I left!"

"That Cadian was a frickin amazing driver okay! He snuck up on me!"

"He was driving a baneblade you ingrate! How does one not notice a baneblade?"

"GAAAH! Just be quiet. Look, when you got dragged here by pinky upstairs' spell, I got dragged along as well. Don't ask me why or how. Anyway, we're stuck here."

Severus stared at Hesk for a moment. Then he began to laugh.

"What is so funny?" Hesk asked, glaring up at the sorcerer.

"You may be stuck here my fuzzy little friend, but I'm not. Once I get this rune off I'll be outta here."

"I'M NOT FUZZY!"

"Should have thought about what you'd be reincarnated as a bit more carefully."

"Shut up. By the way, I wouldn't take that rune off."

"Why not?" Severus stopped, just before he placed his finger on the last rune.

"It's the overlord rune. It's used to bind greater daemons. So uhm, trying to take it off may kill you."

"WHAT!"

"Or it might just turn you into a chicken, I don't know. Might be entertaining though."

Severus shoved Hesk away, and rose to his feet.

"FRAK!"


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own warhammer or familiar of zero

Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

Review again and again and again...

* * *

Severus's scream of anger was loud. Not just loud as in volume, but loud as in it caused explosions in forty two different parts of the Tristain Academy, all of which promptly fixed themselves and set fire to half of the trees, which burned to cinders in seconds then reformed as gnarled black trees their leaves gone.. Glass windows shattered and remade themselves, and the earth shook as the sorcerer vented his frustration.

"WHY THE FRAK DOES THIS SHIT HAPPEN TO ME! WHO IN TZEENTCH'S NAME DID I PISS OFF? WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO DESERVE TO BE THE PERSONAL SERVANT OF A GIRL WHOSE KNOWLEDGE OF MAGIC COULD FIT EASILY INTO AN AIR MOLECULE AND LEAVE ROOM FOR THE AIR?"

A smaller but equally loud voice replied;

"CAUSE KARMA'S A BITCH ASSHOLE! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR ALLOWING A CHANGER OF WAYS TO GET AMBUSHED BY A BANEBLADE!"

"Shut up Hesk."

"Screw you Severus."

"Love you too witless wonder."

"I'm gonna use your helmet as a litter box."

"By the Architect that was a low blow."

"So?"

"Fair point."

"You done screaming? My ears hurt."

"Yeah I think so. Just one more thing."

"What?"

"FRAKKING, FRAKKITY, FRAK, FRAK, FRAK, FRAK, FRAKKING, FRAK!"

"You really like to say frak."

"Shut up fuzzball."

"FRAKKING WARP HELLS SEVERUS! DON''T FRAKKING CALL ME FRAKKING FUZZY, YOU FRAKKING FRAKTARD!"

"Who likes saying frak now?"

"You're an ass."

"You're shorter than a grot."

"Don't remind me."

"Too late."

"Frak."

* * *

Louise woke up the next morning and screamed. A small black cat was sitting on her chest, a pair of enormous spectacles magnifying its eyes to ten times their normal size.

"Owww!" The small cat moaned. "Why are you frakkers always yelling in my frakking ears!"

The cat yowled in pain again as Louise began to scream once more.

* * *

Severus sat outside the dining hall with Hesk, the small cat/daemon loudly bemoaning the agony caused by the shrill screams of Louise, who Hesk referred to as the "sonic blaster plus an amp" while the girl drowned her fright in a large breakfast. As Severus listened to Hesk whine, a second, equally irritating voice broke into the ears of the sorcerer.

"I, Guiche challenge you to a duel!"

Hesk fell silent, his ears pricking up. "Hey, Severus!"

"Yeah?"

"I think some creepy kid with a flower has a deathwish."

"Who?"

"The imbecile waving the flower at you."

"Oh. Shoot him you think?"

"Nah, set him on fire."

"I do that too much. It's kinda redundant."

"Electrocute him?"

"Nah, he's not durable. It'd kill him instantly."

"DID YOU HEAR ME COMMON SCUM! I, GUICHE CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!"

Severus and Hesk froze.

"Common? Oh frak..." Hesk murmured, running up a nearby tree.

"Common? Common? COMMON?" Severus roared, his voice making the flower wielding boy vibrate.

"Erm yes. I, Guiche, challenge you to..."

There was a whoosh of flame, a crack of lightning, the sound of someone being slapped by an incredibly powerful metal hand, a rapid succession of gunshots, and then a scream as Guiche flew upwards once more as Severus swung him by the ankles and let go.


End file.
